Football Preview: Purdue at Michigan State - October 19 - Noon - BTN

After a week on the road for work, I'm getting this preview in just under the wire.  So let's make it short and sweet.  When I got home from New York, my wife said, "Why do you need to write a game preview anyway?  Can't you just say: 'The team sucks.  It's going to be the same as last week.  It's going to blow.'"

My wife has never spoken truer words.  What would lead any logical Purdue fan to think this game is going to be anything but yet another blowout?

Here's hoping MSU plays as badly as this Spartan looks

Why Purdue wins
Because Hell freezes over, pigs fly, and the Purdue offense becomes possessed by the spirits of the 2005 USC Trojans (I know, they aren't dead, just play along).  The Boilers love to make me look stupid, but I'm pretty sure I would relish them making me look like an idiot this afternoon, but it ain't happening.

Why Michigan State wins 
Because they are a vastly superior team, more disciplined, better coached, more talented.  Also, did  I mention that Purdue is horrible?

Player we're most concerned about since their stock photo may break our TV

My apathy with this Boilermaker team makes it hard to have any vitriol towards their opponents.  Other than the deformed Spartan pictured above, I couldn't find anything too shocking, but check out Taybor Pepper.

Does the team's math homework for them

While his name is also hilarious, have you ever seen such a scrawny looking player who wasn't a kicker?  Pepper is the long snapper, and apparently a pretty good one, but he looks like he's playing the wrong position or wrong sport.

On the other hand, I have to show major love to starting right tackle Fou Fonoti (not to be confused with Lou Malnati).  Don't you just want to have a beer and some cheesesticks with this guy?

The happiest guy on the team

Picks of the week

The Spartans are favored by 27.5.  It's hard to get excited for Purdue football, but Erik and I are both still big fans of our NFL teams.  This week, we'll be betting the number of wins in the last decade by our favorite team.

Erik's Bet (50)

Erik's Cleveland Browns have been even more disappointing than Purdue over the last decade, only winning 50 games.  Erik thinks the Boilers will get blown out but cover the spread by mustering more than twice as many points as last week.  Maybe he's counting on the defense scoring some of those points.

Michigan State 41 - Purdue 17
Kirk's Bet (84)
I finally picked correctly last week, but there's no joy in Mudville because all that meant was the Boilers really sucked against Nebraska.  I'll pick for an equal amount of suck this week and bet the 84 games that the Chicago Bears have won since the 2004 season.

Michigan State 38 - Purdue 10

Three Final Things

1.  As Erik mentioned, our MVP, Cody Webster, had a bad game last week.  I'll be looking to see a vastly improved performance, and I'm expecting to have the opportunity for a lot of kicks with the futile Purdue offense.  At least there's someone interesting to watch other than Etling.

2.  After destroying Purdue today, the Spartans will probably be ranked, so it's nice we can help them out with that.  We're such a giving team, shucks.

3. Boiler Up!

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Football Recap: Nebraska 44 - Purdue 7 - The fifth 25+ point home loss in the last 375 days

Another home game.  Another blow out.  I mentioned in the preview that Nebraska was 83 points better than Purdue, but I failed to take into account any home/road bias.  If these two teams would have played in Lincoln, 83 points might not have been far off. 

This picture pretty much sums up the season so far

Not much to like in this one.  Here's what I didn't like:

• The Boilers got blown out even though Nebraska lost two of their best players for most of the game.  Spencer Long, one of the best offensive linemen in the nation, got hurt on the Huskers' first drive and Nebraska's top player in the secondary, Stanley Jean-Baptiste, got kicked out of the game for a questionable targeting (technically it was targeting, but if it happened to a Purdue player, I'd be furious) in the 2nd quarter.  Nebraska actually scored a touchdown two plays after Jean-Baptiste was thrown out.  Fumble, long TD run, game over.

• Excessive BTN camera zoom.  Do we have to zoom in 80x on the ball while it's in the air?  Why can't I see who the quarterback is throwing to until it actually gets to the receiver?  There's no excuse.  Zoom should not be touched until the ball is in someone's hands other than the quarterback's.  I suppose we should get used to it - we've been spoiled by 3 straight national tv games...I highly doubt anyone's clamoring to have us on national tv again.

• Cody Webster's Ray Guy Award hopes took a HUGE hit as he averaged 38 yards and only put one punt inside the 20.  While watching the game, I jotted down that I needed to mention how horrible his punts were in the 1st quarter.  By the time the 3rd quarter was over, I crossed out "1st quarter" and just put "game".  Imagine what his average would have been if he didn't kick a meaningless 58-yarder in the 4th quarter?

• Rob Henry's miserable fake-punt pass.  While he WAS getting pressured, the guy was wide open.  I mean, he could have thrown a Brandon Weeden signature pass and still would have completed it.  It was really tough to critique Etling after seeing that one.

• The Boilers just gave up a touchdown to go down 28-0 .  The kickoff goes through the endzone.  The next play?  Delay of game.  ABSOLUTELY INEXCUSABLE.  How is the play not already called before the offense even gets onto the field?  That makes me think it was Etling's fault.  Regardless, I'm tired of this team doing really stupid things. 

• The 17-yard sack for a safety.  While the refs blew this one since Etling's forward progress was stopped at the 3 even before the knee went down, I'm pretty sure they decided to teach young Danny a lesson by calling it a safety.  Did anyone else have the complacent feeling of "Well, that shouldn't have been a safety, but they sure deserved it?"  I did.

• The next drive ended up at 4th and 31.  Cody Webster's 33-yard punt reached the first down by 2 yards.  It was at this point the fast-forward button became my best friend.

• While fast-forwarding, I saw Danny Etling complete 1 of 12 passes prior to his touchdown pass.  Then I remembered that this is the 4th quarter in a blowout.  This had to be against second-teamers.  It's going to be a LONG last 6 weeks.

• Kenny Bell's ugly mug made it on my tv screen. Way to rub it in, BTN.

• Speaking of BTN, they went to commercial after Nebraska's last touchdown.  There were 50 seconds left in the game and the score was 44-0.  It was already 3:20, so surely all their required commercials had been shown.  I sure hope they got paid about $2 for those ads, because there couldn't have been more than 100 people watching at that point.

None of the above items even came close to individually causing the blowout, but they sure added up to a miserable viewing experience.   Is it basketball season yet?

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Football Preview: Nebraska vs. Purdue - October 12 - Noon - BTN

Nebraska comes to town on Saturday for their first ever conference game against a team in the state of Indiana.  While this is the third year the Cornhuskers have been members of the Big Ten, the football team has somehow avoided both juggernauts from the Hoosier state.  Weird Fact: The Cornhuskers will actually not play Indiana until 2016 due to conference realignment...how stupid is this?  There should never be a 6 year layoff from playing a team in your own conference.  Anyway, back on topic.  Here's the preview of a game that Purdue fans would normally care less about  if it wasn't for one exciting wild card...

I hate husking corn...I can never get all those stupid strings out of it.

Why Purdue wins
Danny Etling.  That's right, Danny Etling will make his first career start now that Rob Henry has been moved to safety due to his ineffectiveness against one of the worst pass defenses in the country.  Etling had a so-so debut in the Northern Illinois game, but showed signs that he can move the offense if he can avoid the pesky turnovers.  Is he likely to lead the Boilermakers to a shocking win over the Huskers?  Not likely.  But with a bye week to prepare the new offense, a defense that may not have to face Taylor Martinez (turf toe injury), and facing a team playing their first road game, Etling has at least a chance to start his career as a Boilermaker legend.

Why Nebraska wins 
Even without Taylor Martinez, Nebraska's been putting up a ton of points.  Tommy Armstrong Jr. played the "game manager" role against Illinois and let Ameer Abdullah run all over them.  50 of their 70 offensive plays were rushes as Abdullah ended up with 225 yards on the ground en route to a 39-19 win.  This is the same Illinois team that beat Cincinnati 45-17.  That's the same Cincinnati team that destroyed Purdue 42-7.  If these scores hold true, Nebraska will beat the Boilermakers 90-7.  Even if the Huskers are off their game, it's not likely they'll be off their game by 83 points.

Player we're most concerned about since their stock photo may break our TV

We've got 3 this week!  First comes Derek Foster.  This category was made for this guy.  Is it the "just got out of bed" hair?  The "should I smile or be serious" half-smile?  The overall look of goofiness?

 

#30 CB Derek Foster

Is that a mullet peeking out from behind Jared Afalava?

#33 LB Jared Afalava

Kenny Bell is the anti-Derek Foster...look at how much time he must have spent on that hair!  Although goofy would be a good way to describe this one as well...

#80 WR Kenny Bell

Picks of the week

The Cornhuskers are favored by 14.5.  This week, we'll be betting 10% of the number of words in each of our last posts.  Kirk wrote a 518-word recap of the Northern Illinois game while I wrote a 673-word masterpiece to preview the same game. 

Erik's Bet -67

Well, baseball's over (for me), so I guess it's time to start paying attention to football.  WTF? The Browns are 3-2???  Didn't they just trade their franchise to the Colts?  Thank goodness they're keeping me off the ledge this fall...can't say the same for Purdue.

Nebraska 44 - Purdue 20

Kirk's Bet -52
Kirk is 0-5 against the spread this year, so maybe it'll be closer than we think!  I'm sick to my stomach that I made the same pick as him...

Nebraska 34 - Purdue 13

Three Final Things

1. Landon Feichter is looking to return November 2nd against Ohio State.  This may not be interesting to anyone except the fact that he broke his freaking leg against Indiana State on September 7th.  I've never been Feichter's biggest fan, but if I broke my leg, I'd be lucky to be walking in 8 weeks. He's planning on playing football against a National Championship contender.  That's pretty awesome.

2. Now it's time for the weekly bowl watch.  Purdue needs 5 wins - Illinois, Indiana, Penn State, and Iowa are winnable.  That means they need one of Nebraska, Ohio State, and Michigan State to even have a chance.  This is the most winnable of those three, considering Nebraska is going on the road for the first time.  Yes, I'm delusional.

3. Boiler Up!

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Football Recap: Northern Illinois 55 - Purdue 24 - Owned by the MAC

I suppose I can't put this recap off any longer.  Erik is eager to post his Nebraska game preview, and I guess it has been twelve days since the Boilers were taken to the woodshed by the Huskies.

That's twelve days to sit in their own mess, thanks to the bye week.  I'd argue that the bye week was more important for Purdue fans than the actual players.  Sure, freshman quarterback Danny Etling is now (finally!) "the man" as Rob Henry converts to defense (what?!), and he could certainly use the extra reps in practice, but we fans needed a week off to forget how horrible this Boiler team really is.  Now we can delude ourselves into thinking the good guys may actually win against Nebraska (hah!).

What I look like watching Purdue this season

But in actuality, the product on the field is still going to be bad the rest of the season. We can root for Etling, admire his arm, and forgive his mistakes more easily than we forgave Henry, but the same weaknesses will still be there.  In the Northern Illinois game we saw so many that it was sickening:

• 7 penalties for 58 yards (and more that were declined by the Huskies), including at least four during dead balls
• 5 turnovers (4 INTs, 1 fumble)
• Henry made some really bad decisions and poor throws, leading to Hazell finally pulling him. Etling's arm looked amazing in comparison, but the bad decisions were still there (but yeah, he's a freshman, so no surprise) 
• The offensive line is still a sieve and also can't block worth a darn for the running game
• Hunt's best contributions came on a couple screen passes (one for an early touchdown) and kick returns, and BJ Knauf had the most rushing yards (41) thanks to end-arounds (and he'll be suspended the next two games due to his theft from Kohl's - idiot)
• NIU receivers were wide open all day, partly because Jordan Lynch seemed to have all day to find an open man with a lackluster Boiler pass rush
• The defense was responsible for giving up 41 points...to a MAC team
• Special teams let the Huskies run a kick back 99 yards for a touchdown
• Hazell was out-coached by Northern Illinois again, and this was even a new (inferior) Husky staff!
• This was a 31-point loss to a MAC team.  I know NIU is good, but that's how badly the Boilers also lost to Wisconsin.

Much like Erik's stock game recap, it seems like these bullets of the team's problems could be repeated each week.  I'm getting tired of this, and I can't imagine what it must be like for fans making the trip to Ross-Ade.  Pulling Etling's redshirt at least gives us something to pay attention to now, because otherwise I don't know if I'd even remember the Boilers were playing on Saturday.

Want an update on the game betting between Erik and I this season?  Well, I picked incorrectly again, making me a perfect 0-5 for the season at -$235.  Erik's 4-1 at $125.  Screw you guys, I'm going home.

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Football Preview: Northern Illinois vs. Purdue - September 28 - Noon - ESPN2

Purdue's brutal schedule continues on Saturday against Northern Illinois, a team that amazingly played in the Orange Bowl last year.  I'd love to look up when the last time Purdue was the underdog against a MAC team, but that seems like a lot of work for something that may have never happened.  If anyone wants to research it, leave the answer in the comments section and we'll let you write our first ever tweet. 

Signs that don't use the first letter on each line are just lazy. 

Why Purdue wins
Northern Illinois may still have Jordan Lynch, but they also have one of the worst defenses in the country.  Most recently, they gave up 39 points to Eastern Illinois - an FCS school (albeit the 8th ranked FCS school).  This is just what the doctor ordered for Purdue's sluggish offense.  Along with the come from behind win over Eastern Illinois, the Huskies scored 10 points in the last 6 minutes to beat a bad Iowa team and struggled to a 45-35 victory over an Idaho team that lost 40-6 (!) to NORTH TEXAS.  If the Boilermaker defense can play like they did against Notre Dame and somehow contain Lynch, the offense should have a field day against a very beatable Northern Illinois team.

Why Northern Illinois wins 
Wait, did I mention Jordan Lynch yet?  This guy does everything.  He averages 220 yards passing and 135 rushing yards per game and it wouldn't be a stretch to think he could break 200 yards on the ground against the Boilermakers.  If the Huskies can capitalize on a couple of turnovers and the Boilers miss even HALF the tackles that they did against Wisconsin last week, the Huskies win by double digits.

Player we're most concerned about since their stock photo may break our TV

Cameron Clinton-Earl is a little-used defensive end, but that doesn't keep him from looking like a creepy version of Samuel L Jackson.  If we see this guy's mug, we're in deep trouble, because it definitely means that there are motherf#@!ing snakes on this motherf#@!ing plane.
 

 

Picks of the week

The Huskies are favored by 3.5.  I'm embarrassed for Kirk to even look at the standings right now, so I'm not going to tabulate the betting totals at the moment.  All you need to know is that he's 0-4 and I'm 3-1.  I don't think you're going to like who Kirk picked.  This week we'll bet the number of total points we're expecting the teams to score this week.

Erik's Bet - 78

I got my Indians playoff tickets in the mail today.  While the likelihood of me actually getting to use them is less than 1%, how cool is it to have a ticket in my possession that says "World Series Game 7"?  I don't think anyone receives playoff tickets without staring at that ticket for a few seconds just wondering what a game like that would be like.

Northern Illinois 41 - Purdue 37

Kirk's Bet - 45

I have no random stories that don't have anything to do with the game for Kirk. 

Purdue 24 – Northern Illinois 21

Three Final Things

1. Donnie Hale is transferring.  I have to admit that I'm personally kind of shocked that a kid who went to a year of prep school and then redshirted his freshman year would only end up playing one year for the school he waited to play for.  We'll see where he ends up, but with Anthony Johnson, Sandi Marcius, and Jacob Lawson also not returning, this year's basketball team is going to look quite a bit different from last year's young and relatively disappointing group.

2. While it seems ridiculous to think about, Purdue can still possibly sneak into a bowl game this year.  If they want to even consider it, though, they MUST win this weekend's game.  Iowa, Illinois, and Indiana are all very winnable games.  That leaves 1 win out of Nebraska, Michigan State, Ohio State, and Penn State.  Hey, it could happen!

3. Boiler Up!

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Football Recap: Wisconsin 41 - Purdue 10 - Surprise!

All week, I've been trying to work up the stamina to write this lousy recap.  I mean, how many times can I come up with a different way to say "they sucked"?  And why does it seem like Kirk gets to write the recaps of all the exciting games?  I mean, we basically alternate weeks - surely I must be making that up, right?

This year's game had as many Purdue fans watching at the end on tv as last year's game had in the stands (above)

Let's take a look at the last two years worth of games, split into 4 categories (the first two of which are fun/easy to write about)...

Big/Exciting Wins
Eastern Kentucky (Kirk)
Eastern Michigan (Kirk)
Indiana (Kirk)
Iowa (Kirk)
Marshall (Kirk)

Exciting Losses
Notre Dame 2012 (Erik)
Notre Dame 2013 (Kirk)
Ohio State (Erik)

Ugly/Crappy Wins
Indiana St (Erik)
Illinois (Erik)

Ugly/Crappy Losses
Cincinnati (Kirk)
Michigan (Erik)
Minnesota (Kirk)
Oklahoma St.  (Kirk)
Penn St. (Erik)
Wisconsin 2012 (Kirk)
Wisconsin 2013 (Erik)

Here's what we learned from the above analysis that I'm sure nobody cares about:

1. Kirk has had 4 bad recaps to write.  This is my 5th.  At least that's fair.
2. However, Kirk has gotten to write EVERY SINGLE big or exciting win recap in the last two years.  There haven't been many, but can someone throw me a bone here?
3. I will go to great lengths to try and prove that I'm being screwed.

So, what to say about this one?  For fun, let's try and fill in the template I created last year in my really lazy Penn State recap and see if it still works.  I'm going to actually start in the second quarter, with Purdue down 14-0.

Purdue came out strong and scored a    touchdown (followed by a field goal)   on their first drive.  The Boilermaker defense then did their best impression of a sieve and gave up     27      points in a row.  Meanwhile, the starting quarterback, Rob Henry acted like he only practiced the first drive all week and was should have been replaced in the third quarter.  The Boilers then couldn't even scored against the 4th string defense to make the score a little less lopsided.  Coach Darrell Hazell (underlined for potential future games) acted like he's never won a Big Ten game (which is actually true) and Offensive Coordinator John Shoop remained defiant in his superiority cluelessness over all offensive minds in college football.  Somehow, these guys have been so bad that Defensive Coordinator Greg Hudson and his can't even force a 2nd-down CFL defense goes yet another week without getting the majority of the blame.  Purdue has now lost    2    straight games.

Wow, that worked pretty well!  Unfortunately, this is not a good sign that progress is being made.

Here's what annoyed me on Saturday:

1. Watching this one knowing I had to write a freaking blog post about it.
2. Kirk warned us about Beau Allen.  His ugly mug showed up numerous times on my tv and his hair was mesmerizing.  
3. Anyone watching ABC-HD on AT&T U-Verse in the Cleveland area (me) could not legitimately watch the game in HD.  Maybe more people had a problem than just this small (but very important) segment of the population, but the sound was synced up a little over 1 second earlier than the video.  While this doesn't seem like a huge problem to someone who didn't experience it, there is nothing more annoying than hearing a whistle blow as the running back gets handed the ball.  So, I had to watch in standard definition.  Luckily it was so blurry that I was able to pretend I was watching a game from the Colletto years.
4. This was the third straight year the Boilers gave up more than 350 yards rushing to the Badgers.
5. Purdue hasn't lost by less than 21 to Wisconsin since 2005.  Wisconsin comes to visit West Lafayette in 2014.  Will any Purdue fan be duped into buying a single-game ticket for this one?  I know I'd avoid that game like the plague...who wants to see the Boilers get blown out again?  
6. I knew Purdue wouldn't cover the spread, but I was too lazy to look up the actual spread before sending Kirk my pick.  So now my perfect record is ruined.  Kirk, on the other hand, is now a miserable 0-4 against the spread. 

Things that made me happy on Saturday:

1. This was the first time I ever saw the Pennzoil commercial that calls a car a "babymaker".  It's such a standard car commercial that it made both my wife and I do a double take..."did they really just say babymaker?"  Thank goodness for DVR...they definitely said "babymaker".  This totally cracked me up...plus any commercial that makes you look up from what you're doing to pay attention to it is clearly doing something right.
2. Those few minutes after Ricardo Allen's interception where it looked like Purdue might tie it up after playing a horrible first quarter - that's what keeps me watching.

That's it.  Not a lot to be happy about.  The good news is that Kirk's doing this week's recap, which means at least there's a chance of a big or exciting win!

Boiler Up (and Go Tribe)!

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Football Preview: Purdue at Wisconsin - September 21 - 3:30 - ABC/ESPN2 (depending on where you live)

After the Boilermakers continued their recent futility against Notre Dame last week, the schedule takes the team to Madison where there has been an even worse trend.  Purdue hasn't beaten the Badgers since 2003, or better put, Wisconsin has owned Purdue since The Fumble. I link to the painful video, because as you read in my last post, we Purdue fans have to accept our misery.

Saturday's game, with ABC (or regional ESPN2) coverage, could be the lopsided loss most fans were expecting last week.

Sad scenes from the last two years

 

Why Purdue wins
The Boilers played a fantastic first half against the Irish last week.  If they can string two halves like that together, they could have a shot against the Badgers.  Purdue won't have the home crowd energy, but now that the coaching staff seems to be embracing the current roster and calling smarter plays, maybe the growth will continue.  Of course, that growth could simply be Purdue losing by 14 instead of 28.  Maybe the Big Ten officials can blow the game as badly as the Pac-12 refs did last week, resulting in a narrow Purdue victory (OK, seriously, no one wants that garbage. The Pac-12 should be ashamed and fire all those guys immediately instead of a "reprimand").

Why Wisconsin wins 
With yet another monster offensive line, the Badgers will likely run on the Boilers all day and put up some monster numbers.  There were some good stops on the ground against the Irish last week, but as we saw the Purdue defense wear out a bit in the second half, it's going to be even worse on Saturday.  The constant focus on the run will also give Wisconsin lots of opportunities to rattle of unexpected passing plays that have killed Purdue in the past.  They can catch you sleeping and even if the passing game falters, the ground battle should be enough for the Badgers to tally more points than the questionable (but improving, right?!) Purdue offense.

Player we're most concerned about since their stock photo may break our TV

First, we have a player who clearly got his "hair did" for picture day.

Senior noseguard Beau Allen has prettier hair than most women I know.  Don't you just want to run your hands through it?

And a special shout out to freshman receiver Jazz Peavy (no relation to Jake).  Jazz seems like a fun guy, and his picture really fits his name.  I wonder if Jazz brings his buddy with him to games.

Picks of the week The Badgers are favored by 24.  Since Erik liked to rub salt in my Cubs wound with last week's bet, this week we’re going to bet the number of seasons since our beloved baseball teams won a championship.  Yes, it hurts, but this way I can also regain some ground on Erik if I pick correctly. Erik's Bet You don't need to know his rhyme or reason.  All you need to know is never bet against Erik, and you could be rich.  Erik also knows we always flounder at Wisconsin but he's surprisingly picking us against the spread. The Cleveland Indians last won the World Series in 1948, 65 years ago. Wisconsin 38 - Purdue 21 Kirk's Bet I've learned my lesson and following Erik's lead against the spread, even though I think the result is going to be a bit more pitiful. The Chicago Cubs last won the World Series in 1908, 105 years ago. Wisconsin 31 – Purdue 10 Three Final Things 1. Tight End Gabe Holmes is officially done for the year, but his replacement, junior Justin Sinz, had a nice game against Notre Dame bringing in six catches for 45 yards and a touchdown.  Hailing from Wisconsin, maybe he'll have a big showing in his home state. 2. This will be the first match-up between Hazell and new Badger coach Gary Andersen.  I hope it's just the start of a long bitter rivalry, and I'm happy I don't have to look at this creep anymore. 3. Boiler Up!

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