Sunday, November 3, 2013

Football Recap: Ohio State 56 - Purdue 0 - From Bad to Worse

Did you watch the game on Saturday?  If not, delete it from your DVR; there's no point to sit through any of it.  If you attended the game, I feel bad for you and hope the athletic department reimburses your expenses.  If you're masochistic, read about it here or here.

The only highlight is pictured below.  The black helmets and black jerseys looked really cool.  I'm glad we can win the fashion battle, it's a crucial part of building a winning program.  Is there a font to indicate heavy sarcasm?

There was a lot of posing on Saturday.
Must have been trying to show of the unis before letting the rushers sack you.
The game was so bad that only a few minutes into the action, it was already over, and I was trying to figure out how I'd write this wrap-up post.  I thought maybe I could make a list of things that frustrated me, pissed me off, or were so bad they just made me laugh.  As I began compiling that list, I decided it wasn't worth it.

Instead of reviewing all the things that went wrong, highlighting any brights spots that I could fine (yeah, good luck), and ranting more about how this Purdue team looks as outgunned as a high school squad playing a college team (or a college team playing an NFL team), let's just forget this game, and so far this season, ever happened.

But there are four games left, so let's breakdown what you, loyal fan, should do during those games:

November 9 - Iowa
Up next is a home game at noon against a Hawkeye team that isn't great but looks incredibly more competitive than Purdue.  Tickets are for sale for only $2, but instead you should buy a bottle of good beer with that money, and maybe watch the first quarter at home.  The Boilers have a chance to make this one interesting for maybe 20 minutes, and then you can have a nice little Saturday with the family.

November 16 - at Penn State
Clearly you aren't going to this game, but instead of even trying to watch it live on BTN and making yourself depressed, go rake leaves in your yard. It'll be far more fun.  Penn State isn't that good, but they'll definitely win this one at home.  Set the DVR, don't even bother checking the score at halftime, and you'll probably just delete the recording anyway.

November 23 - Illinois
Your last chance to see the worst-ever Purdue football team in person this season.  Go? Only if you have nothing better to do, and hey, tickets are virtually free! The Boilers could actually win this one, because Illinois is plenty horrible to match, so I'd recommend planning on watching at least three quarters on TV, although I'm probably kidding myself in being that optimistic.

November 30 - at Indiana
Let's be honest - avoid this game like the plague.  Do NOT travel down to Bloomington, because you'll feel like crap after the game, getting taunted by the few people that even know IU has a football team.  The Boilers have given up over 37 points per game this season, and that's including games when the other team has mercifully not run up the score more than necessary (like OSU yesterday who could have easily had another 28 points, no joke).  Indiana's defense is horrible, but their offense is potent, and they won't be pulling any punches, so there's the potential for a 63-20 final score.  Anything that skewed will make me puke up my Duane Purvis.  At least IU won't be playing for a shot at a bowl game thanks to their hilarious final play yesterday, but they'll still be angry and thirsty to prove they are no longer the laughing stock of the conference.  Yep, that's Purdue's spot now.

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